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Dark Night of the…what?

Posted on Oct 9th, 2008 by Paul Pennell : Journeysmith/Songwriter/Pianist Paul Pennell

Dark Night of the...what?

October 9, 2008 by Paul Pennell 

It’s most commonly been known as the Dark Night of the Soul.  I dont’ believe I’ll call it that.  Actually, it’s the Dark Night of the EGO.  The Soul doesn’t have dark nights.  It’s the ego mind that challenges our ability to allow the Soul to live through us and evolve during this life experience.   

The Dark Night doesn’t begin even with the ego.  It begins with the Confrontation between the Soul and the Ego.  When we allow our true nature to TRULY question the Ego mind, our dark side, our Shadow side, not just when we have a bad day or bad experience, but when we actually allow our Superconsciouness (via Surrender), to confront the Ego, trust me, the Night becomes Dark.  So, it’s the truly, surrendered, allowing, FACING OF THE SHADOWS/EGO that causes the night to be come Dark.  But Alas…herein lies our truest, most holy salvation.   Herein is the space that will allow for the most authentic transformation that we will ever encounter.  At least to this point.  

 

Allowing Grace, we walk into the space of the Shadow and we look at our Selves (both Self and self), and we admit that we, within this duality, are hopeless when we fight the Ego.  In some forms of Karate, you are taught that in self defense, when you are grabbled or accosted, you don’t pull away, but instead, you move INTO the perpetrators grip. This releases his grip, it doesn’t make it stronger.  WHAT we RESIST, Persists.  

Facing the EGO and it’s shadows and counterparts is, in my opinion, one of the secrets to True freedom and Soul power.  Face the night.  No matter how dark and no matter how fearful you are.  It might take a few times, (like 50 or so), but there truly is nothing to FEAR, but facing the pain and being momentarily in what seems to be the dark.  Grace is here.   Your angels and guides are all around, supporting your transformation and  ”holding you in great anticipation like the next batch of morning glories that will open tomorrow, fragile and vulnerable but open fully to the light of a new day.”  

Namaste with Tremendous Light 

Paul 
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CHANGE

Posted on Oct 21st, 2008 by Paul Pennell : Journeysmith/Songwriter/Pianist Paul Pennell

CHANGE

October 5, 2008 by Paul Pennell 

Being raised in a fundamentalist Christian home, I learned how to DO.  If not how to DO, at least how to appear that I was doing.  And of course, that deeply embedded in my pysche the idea that in order to accomplish anything, I just had to figure out WHAT TO DO.

Change doesn’t occur by simply changing your thoughts.  Though it may seem to, It doesn’t simply occur by choosing new actions. Ultimately, change occurs with Surrender.  It’s being willing to embrace what is and then surrendering into it.  That’s not powerlessness - surrender.  That’s True Power.  Surrender includes knowing and trusting and believing and BEING.  It is the ultimate choice to change.  Surrender to something today.  Maybe surrender to your thoughts.  Or your actions.  The very things you’ve been doing to Change.  Surrender even to Change.  And then what just might occur. 

 

PP
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Shadow Stories

Posted on Oct 22nd, 2008 by Paul Pennell : Journeysmith/Songwriter/Pianist Paul Pennell

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 19, 2008

Shadow Stories

We become attached to our Story, thus learning to view most everything through it. Once we face our Shadows and compassionately invite them to release hold on us through recognizing the gifts they bring, we can release the fears and grips of the Story that causes us such resistance and pain. With Courage we can do this. Reminding ourselves throughout the day that we are NOT our Story, we are the light. We are Soul. Untouched, unscathed and unlimited. It's these Stories, told to us continually, year after year by our shadows, that keeps up from our highest selves, our greatest peace and our ultimate Joy. We can be Free and we can release our past by confronting our darkest parts and letting go of our Stories. 

When you feel fear, pain, anxiety, confusion or hurt, you're remembering and listening to your Story. Observe how your mind can get wrapped up in it for a minute, then two then three then 10 minutes and before you know it, you've felt all the feelings that that story gladly brings you. About what's happened in the past or what you fear will happen in the future. In this moment, all is well and in this moment the only story that exists is the one your shadows are telling you and the one that you are choosing to believe. Let go. Have courage. Experience freedom. 

I pray often: 

"With Great Courage,
I once again in this moment release my story, 
And I Trust." 

PP
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Coming Home...

Posted on Oct 22nd, 2008 by Paul Pennell : Journeysmith/Songwriter/Pianist Paul Pennell
No matter how hard you try to resist, or how fast you run, or how far you try to go, eventually, you will have to Come Home to your Self.  Eventually, you will have to face the dark, the shadows, the fears and of course, your own Light.  It's our Destiny to awaken from our sleep and to discover that we are far from home and long to be on Purpose.  Our choices will ultimately determine the journey we take back home.  

Choose wisely. Choose carefully.  And know that there truly is, "no place like home." 

PP 
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Exquisite Choices & Acts of Self Respect

Posted on Oct 23rd, 2008 by Paul Pennell : Journeysmith/Songwriter/Pianist Paul Pennell

I've come to believe that the greatest choices we make, the ones with the most power, the ones that really change our lives, are the ones that relate mainly to our own Journey. And the ones we call most difficult.  The choices that seem to be a 'thorn' are potentially and more than likely our biggest Gifts. What if this is really true? Maybe these could be called Soul Choices. Big ones.  Of course it does matter, the choices we make relating to others, but when it comes to our own choices, our own lives, our own delicate insights that long to be chosen over the patterns and habits of our story, it's those choices that cradle within them the elegant elements of true power and ultimate Self Esteem.  Real Self Esteem.  Building true self esteem of course requires making choices of self respect, taking action that serves our 'knowings', our hunches and guidance, but the most radical shifts often occur when that problem we've been battling all these years, loses it's appeal in the identity of struggle and we choose to take the next step beyond that. We choose and internal radical courage as opposed to the belittling limits of our historical story. These exquisite opportunities are, potentially one of the greatest catapults we can ever experience in our lives.   Radical transformation and growth can occur when we dare to choose to move beyond the stale positioning of our minds, in our lives and in our bodies.   Maybe it's this easy after all?  To move forward?  To grow and evolve?  To connect more passionately? To choose the hard stuff?  The road less traveled? Maybe it's just the fear of choosing that keeps us locked into old patterns. Maybe it's the fear of failing again, once we choose?  Regardless, consider that your greatest growth and your greatest strength, might just be staring you in the face.  In the heart.  In the mind. Look at the choice.  Maybe it's dark side will dissolve once you step into it, with the intent to move beyond it?  So, have a little..I mean a LOT of faith, take a deep breathe and make a difficult choice.  One that at first seems impossible.  These ultimately, are the most exquisite choices we could make for our well-being, our connection, our self esteem and for our trust and highest Self and joyful Purpose.  These ultimately are the highest forms of respecting our selves and building our esteemed selves.   Just some thoughts. 

PP
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Children Know The Way....

Posted on Oct 23rd, 2008 by Paul Pennell : Journeysmith/Songwriter/Pianist Paul Pennell

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 19, 2008

As children we come onto the planet Knowing. Not only knowing who we really are, but knowing how to give love and receive love. We learn quickly, usually, to shut off our intuition. After all, almost everything we want to do is a NO. Everything that feels fun is a NO. All the Joys that make us laugh turn out NOT to be what our parents, siblings and social culture seem to approve of. So they say NO and they say BAD and slowly, we begin to mute and intentionally shut off our very unique and god given ability to KNOW what we want and what feels good to us. We spend the next many years learning how to GROW UP and be like the rest of the grown ups. We learn to work hard, struggle, try to figure things out, totally knowing all along that it's within us, naturally, to KNOW how to live and navigate on the planet. 

Finally, one day, most of us decide we just can't live like this anymore. The guidance we have and the guidance natural to our purpose on the planet has to come forth. So we spend the next many years learning how to be like a Child. 

My experience has been that when I remember who I was before I was told NO and before I was shamed into cutting off my KNOWING, when I remember that little boy, he was innocent and bright and kind and easy and giving and open. The Little Boy or LIttle Girl inside is the key to helping us remember who we really are. It won't take long. Just go back and go as far as you have to before you were shut down by your surroundings. Remember what it was like to be innocent and pure and kind. Remember how it felt to see things only in the moment. Only what was around you. Without much memory of yesterday but with pure bliss about the feelings that might happen tomorrow. This is WHO YOU ARE. This is WHAT YOU SEEK. Tap into THAT intuition and you will find the Power and the Courage that you were given when you soul came into your beautiful body. The guidance, the confidence, the passion, the COURAGE...all of that has never left, it's just been shadowed away by the ego to protect the gentle, innocent child that you once were. The children will teach us. But more than that..YOUR (inner) CHILD WILL LEAD YOU HOME. 

PP
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Let Go.

Posted on Oct 27th, 2008 by Paul Pennell : Journeysmith/Songwriter/Pianist Paul Pennell

People often comment that they are inspired by what I write, but I have to confess something.  I write for me.  It's selfish.  I write for the purpose of getting things out, getting them onto paper and then learning what I write.  So I apologize if that offends, but it's true.   On the deepest level that I have ever felt, I must evolve. I must grow and I must see the truth of who I really am and why I am here.  I want more deeply than anything in the world to be authentic and to be real and to be forgiving and to be loving and to be honest and to be so intricately caring of my own Self that I am able to be here for others if necessary. 

I write a lot about Trusting. For me.  So I can learn to trust me trusting the Universe. Self Respect.  To release my control and my manipulations of the possible outcomes and to truly 'let go and let the gods'.  I write a lot about believing that if I let go, then I will not be destroyed. I will not actually die, but instead I will be provided for in the most significant way, both physically as well as internally - in my heart.  In my hearts soul.  

So having said that, we must set everything free. Everyone.  We've read this before, "set it free and if it's yours it will come back to you."  Fine.  But it's must deeper than that.  If Trust is to really prevail in our lives, if it's to truly benefit us and truly be a part of our moment to moment experience, then that means we have to let of the outcome of everything.   Release it all.  Our work, our creativity our goals and dreams. Our Relationships.  Let it all go.  Set it all free.  Release it all into the workings of the universe and just feel the freedom of setting it all free.   Look at something that you are struggling with.  Something that is causing you stress. Something that is very painful for you.  If it's a struggle, painful or stressful...let it go.  Because if it is painful, you have not let it go. You are holding onto your story, thus, holding onto the outcome, thus you are NOT trusting.   I know you want to be out of your pain, we all do.  But It's the hanging on that requires resistance and it's the resistance that is keeping it in your energy and in your life. Let it go. 

 

Once in the midst of a deeply painful shadow experience, I sat on my sofa and tried to meditate.  I went into meditation and was able to see that I needed to let go of my attachment to this.  I started to chant internally "let go. let go. let go." and then it became a vocal prayer, "let go paul. just let go.  let go Paul, just let go. You can let go Paul."  I must have chanted for at least 15 minutes or so "let go" until I felt my hand moving up towards my face.  "let go paul, just let go."  And then suddenly, Kapow! My hand slapped the crap out of my face and said, "Let go you dumb ass!  don't you see it's causing you pain to hang on??"  Well, I'm not suggesting anyone slap them selves, but I did start to laugh and then came back to my senses and realized that I really could let go of the situation.  The red marks on my face reminded me through the evening that I should not pick the problem back up.   

Let go of everything.  Serve. Give. Love. Have Courage. Share peace. Work hard.  Love unconditionally. Do whatever you want to do, and then, in every moment, just walk away. You were present.  You did what there was to do.  Now, let everything go. Let go of the lovers, the husband, the wife, the children, the family, the friends, the everything!  Every day.  Everything.  Be in the moment totally willing to release EVERYTHING.  We think that by holding on and NOT letting go, we will gain some kind of protection.  Some kind of security about tomorrow. The future.  (lies, all lies...:)   I'm challenging everyone reading this, including me, let go of what is destroying your precious heart and your mind.  Let it all go and watch the weight lighten and the depths of your ease and peace become the solice you've been seeking by hanging on. Let go.  Set everything and everyone free.  This CHOICE to let go will change your life and transform every part of your life experience.  


 
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