Let Go.

People often comment that they are inspired by what I write, but I have to confess something.  I write for me.  It's selfish.  I write for the purpose of getting things out, getting them onto paper and then learning what I write.  So I apologize if that offends, but it's true.   On the deepest level that I have ever felt, I must evolve. I must grow and I must see the truth of who I really am and why I am here.  I want more deeply than anything in the world to be authentic and to be real and to be forgiving and to be loving and to be honest and to be so intricately caring of my own Self that I am able to be here for others if necessary. 

I write a lot about Trusting. For me.  So I can learn to trust me trusting the Universe. Self Respect.  To release my control and my manipulations of the possible outcomes and to truly 'let go and let the gods'.  I write a lot about believing that if I let go, then I will not be destroyed. I will not actually die, but instead I will be provided for in the most significant way, both physically as well as internally - in my heart.  In my hearts soul.  

So having said that, we must set everything free. Everyone.  We've read this before, "set it free and if it's yours it will come back to you."  Fine.  But it's must deeper than that.  If Trust is to really prevail in our lives, if it's to truly benefit us and truly be a part of our moment to moment experience, then that means we have to let of the outcome of everything.   Release it all.  Our work, our creativity our goals and dreams. Our Relationships.  Let it all go.  Set it all free.  Release it all into the workings of the universe and just feel the freedom of setting it all free.   Look at something that you are struggling with.  Something that is causing you stress. Something that is very painful for you.  If it's a struggle, painful or stressful...let it go.  Because if it is painful, you have not let it go. You are holding onto your story, thus, holding onto the outcome, thus you are NOT trusting.   I know you want to be out of your pain, we all do.  But It's the hanging on that requires resistance and it's the resistance that is keeping it in your energy and in your life. Let it go. 

Once in the midst of a deeply painful shadow experience, I sat on my sofa and tried to meditate.  I went into meditation and was able to see that I needed to let go of my attachment to this.  I started to chant internally "let go. let go. let go." and then it became a vocal prayer, "let go paul. just let go.  let go Paul, just let go. You can let go Paul."  I must have chanted for at least 15 minutes or so "let go" until I felt my hand moving up towards my face.  "let go paul, just let go."  And then suddenly, Kapow! My hand slapped the crap out of my face and said, "Let go you dumb ass!  don't you see it's causing you pain to hang on??"  Well, I'm not suggesting anyone slap them selves, but I did start to laugh and then came back to my senses and realized that I really could let go of the situation.  The red marks on my face reminded me through the evening that I should not pick the problem back up.   

Let go of everything.  Serve. Give. Love. Have Courage. Share peace. Work hard.  Love unconditionally. Do whatever you want to do, and then, in every moment, just walk away. You were present.  You did what there was to do.  Now, let everything go. Let go of the lovers, the husband, the wife, the children, the family, the friends, the everything!  Every day.  Everything.  Be in the moment totally willing to release EVERYTHING.  We think that by holding on and NOT letting go, we will gain some kind of protection.  Some kind of security about tomorrow. The future.  (lies, all lies...:)   I'm challenging everyone reading this, including me, let go of what is destroying your precious heart and your mind.  Let it all go and watch the weight lighten and the depths of your ease and peace become the solice you've been seeking by hanging on. Let go.  Set everything and everyone free.  This CHOICE to let go will change your life and transform every part of your life experience.