Soul Blend. (For a cup of coffee?)

How much is your soul worth to you?  Your knowing.  Your integrity.  How much does it take for you to compromise what you know is your Truth?   What does it take for you to sell out?   How many promises have you made from a place of soul that you haven't kept?  Easily giving way to something worth nothing? What value have you placed on your consciousness?  Your integrity?   The price of a cup of coffee?   

Are you so clear on your purpose and your commitment to your Truth that NOTHING, I mean NOTHING can take you off your course?  Or what is it that always wins?  What price tag does your internal journey carry? 

I must find some great joy in humiliating myself in Text.  I share everything.  I don't really care what anybody thinks of me.  Why is that?  It makes no sense.  I'm the people pleaser.  I'm the charmer.  I'm the one who wants everybody to like me.  Oh my goodness.  Maybe I'm changing. I just want to be authentic.  Ok...back to the cup-o-joe...

What does it take for you to choose what isn't what you know is best for you? I wake in the morning.  I hear, "Paul, sit on the sofa, clear your energy, meditate and re-connect for your day...and then go have your green drink and start your day."  I stumble from the bed (freezing in santa fe..it's already 25 in the morning)....and instead of sitting on the sofa, breathing and connecting and having my delicious, healthy green drink...I turn from my souls request, from my Knowing, and I put on my long johns, my gloves and iPod and I, in a trance, walk towards Dominic's for my morning cup of coffee.  Pretending as though I can sit for my morning practice, in after I've had my beans and then I'll be just fine.  On schedule.  All along knowing that I just sold my Soul for a cup-o-joe.   

I do this over and over.  Heading home.  Tired from the day.  Longing to sit quietly and be with myself.  But oh that roaring fireplace in the lobby of the La Posada Hotel.  And a nice, beautiful, reflective glass of southern Italian Merlot.  Hmmmm..  Sell my soul for a glass of Merlot ? Sure!  Why not!?   I sell for a hot cup of brown sludge every morning. Why not for a nice disconnecting glass of rotten grapes?   

This is sad to write for me.  I've sold my soul for much less than a cup of coffee.  And sometimes, even a lot less more.  

Integrity. 

Internal Integrity.  

We have all this growth.  These awakenings. And then, in one moment. we sell it all out for some subconscious choice that seemingly has nothing to do with what we just said we Knew. Or believed.  Or realized.  INSANITY!  Isn't it nuts?  It seems?  

Coming home to me.  To my Self.  Living from a place of Power as a result of the Choices that I make. (See July 17th..Exquisite Choices Entry)  My soul is worth far more than anything I could choose that isn't for my Highest.   I long for the moments that turn into years where no matter what is in front of me, I WILL SELL MY AWARENESS AND HIGHEST FOR NOT A DAMN THING. EVER.   My soul has no price.  My awareness will NOT be compomised.  This is who we are. This is why we are here.  As of today. My soul isn't up for sale.  No coffee, vino, great deal or some compromising taboo sexual experience  can replace the beauty and blissed out experience of being awake to the choices I make that honor my Knowings and esteem my own Being higher than anything that comes my way.  

What's the value of your soul worth to you today?  Where do you sell out?  What do you give up in order to get your needs met that you KNOW are not what will instill more Power and Consciousness to your life?    You have to put on blinders as it were. And you have to decide to focus and to do, no matter what the consequence, what you know it is that you need to do in order to advance your souls purpose in this life.  You will be protected.  You do have the Courage.  And you will find what you're looking for.  

NAMASTE 

Paul