Hey, just forgive yourself. Screw up.  Do it wrong. Fuck it up.  And then, forgive yourself.  Just let it go.  Get the gift in it. Learn the lesson you got. Admit that there is something there you needed to learn and then just thank yourself, appreciate the gift the messed up choices brought and then let it go.  We make mistakes, feel guilt and shame and then we pull that from the past in the now.  And over the years we have more and more stuff that just builds up and before you know it, you're depressed, bummed, self-hating and really angry, deep down.  Stop today.  Look at how you've screwed things up. Decide you want to make a change for the better, think about forgiving yourself for the redicolous choices you've made and then feel the feeling of letting it all go.  Forgive it all.  Let it all go.  It will change your life.  Self forgiveness is the greatest forgiveness you can ever choose to offer to anyone.  You are the one that needs to be forgiven and who better to forgive you than yourself. 

Make this a daily practice.  Look at where you're being passive aggressive.  Look at where you know your denying yourself the very best and not given yourself the things you really want.  Look each day at where you're betraying yourself and dishonoring yourself in this way.  It's there you hate yourself. It's there where you feel betrayed  internally and where you need to face forgiveness.  Each day, find that place and LET IT GO.  Say, "i forgive you, Paul for not doing what is best for me.  I forgive you Paul for handling this situation so poorly. I forgive you Paul for what you did here or there and I ask to see the gift that this lesson brings."  Then you will understand the purpose in this lesson and your forgiveness will let a bag of rocks fall from your shoulders.  :)  PP